Trinity Sunday (homily)
Being in relationships
2 Corinthians 13.11-13; Matthew 28.16-20

Once there was an elderly man, and one evening he was taking his usual walk. He was enjoying the crisp night air and the wind blowing gently. But suddenly he heard a voice crying out, 'Help me! Help me!' The man looked around and saw no one and so he continued his walk. Again he heard a tiny voice, 'Help me, help me!' This time he looked down and he saw a small frog. He gently lifted up the frog and looked at it intently. The frog spoke, 'I am really a very beautiful princess. If you will kiss me, I will turn back into a princess and I will hug you and kiss you and love you forever.' The man thought for a moment, placed the frog in his top pocket, and continued walking. The little frog looked up out of the pocket and asked, 'Why don't you kiss me?' The man looked down and said, 'Frankly, at this stage of my life, I'd rather have a talking frog.'
What is the point of this story? That we all exist in relationship to others. The nature and style of those relationships are vital components that determine just what might be achieved and what value they have. The thing about the Trinity to which we can best relate is relationship itself. The Scottish philosopher John McMurray once said that 'the self is constituted by its relation to the other.' Our very existence is defined by who we are in relation to others, even if it's to a frog. The elderly gentleman in our story probably surmised that if the frog became a princess, she'd run off with some young bloke and leave him alone again. So he'd prefer the company of the frog to nothing. One of the great successes recently with people in long-term institutional care is pet therapy. Being able to somehow go out of themselves to an animal - be it a cat, a dog, or a rabbit - has a therapeutic effect on people. Similarly, infants desperately need others, usually their mothers, in order to survive. All human experience is a shared experience. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that we are made by our relationships.
For example, just think about the best experiences of your life. What were they? Did they have to do with a lover, a friend, a parent or someone else who had a special place in your life. That was the person to whom you could open up and be yourself completely without any facades or 'phoniness,' or the person who appreciated and shared things that were really significant to you. 'What times we had!' is likely to be your exclamation. Conversation late into the night - remembered with delight despite the physically exhaustion. Or perhaps you remember a play, a film, a holiday, an achievement, a meal, or whatever. Perhaps a time spent in hospital when a regular visitor brought gifts and hope to buoy you up. All of these remembrances were, perhaps, nothing spectacular in themselves, but they were special to you for one reason or another. We desperately need 'companionship,' to be able to 'break bread' with others.
Conversely, the worst times in our lives have probably been the ones when we felt alone, abandoned. Just like our Lord felt in the Garden of Gethsemane and during his passion. He knows what that feels like, even to the point of sweating blood. Deprivation of companionship is one of the worst possible punishments. That is exactly what solitary confinement is in prisons: the ultimate and worst form of punishment. Taking it one step further, the lack of companionship can even lead to insanity. Many infamous criminals have been 'loners,' people who kept to themselves and had a difficult time communicating with others. People become 'alienated' from others and become unable to relate effectively. Lack of relationship is a terrible and troubling state in which to be.
So why do we need to be in constant relationship to others? Because we are made in the image and likeness of a God who is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. No matter how little we may know about the Trinity, we can say without hesitation that the Three Persons exist in relationship to one another. God the Father loves God the Son with such a depth that God the Holy Spirit comes to be. That is hard to phrase accurately without implying that the Eternal God had a beginning, but I think you get the point.
Have you ever met a couple who are so much in love that you can almost reach out and hold it? Or friends whose loyalty and trust seems to touch for good everyone around them? Or parents or siblings whose concern for one another is so evident that it actually changes the circumstances of people around them? Such relationships are probably as close as we humans can ever get to knowing what the divine love really is.
Every striving of our souls for union, every reaching out for companionship, every urge for a hug or an embrace, every act of love gives indirect testimony to the Trinity. The Trinity says that God is community, and that we seek. The Trinity says that God is relationship and that we search for. The Trinity says that God is love and so we yearn for love. We can't help ourselves. We're made in that image and likeness. We mirror our origins.
So if someone asks you to explain the Trinity, you can respond without hesitation: 'The Trinity is the relationship of God the Father with God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. And because I have been created in the image and likeness of God, I can only exist in relationship with others. I am who I am because God is who God is.'
What is the point of this story? That we all exist in relationship to others. The nature and style of those relationships are vital components that determine just what might be achieved and what value they have. The thing about the Trinity to which we can best relate is relationship itself. The Scottish philosopher John McMurray once said that 'the self is constituted by its relation to the other.' Our very existence is defined by who we are in relation to others, even if it's to a frog. The elderly gentleman in our story probably surmised that if the frog became a princess, she'd run off with some young bloke and leave him alone again. So he'd prefer the company of the frog to nothing. One of the great successes recently with people in long-term institutional care is pet therapy. Being able to somehow go out of themselves to an animal - be it a cat, a dog, or a rabbit - has a therapeutic effect on people. Similarly, infants desperately need others, usually their mothers, in order to survive. All human experience is a shared experience. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that we are made by our relationships.
For example, just think about the best experiences of your life. What were they? Did they have to do with a lover, a friend, a parent or someone else who had a special place in your life. That was the person to whom you could open up and be yourself completely without any facades or 'phoniness,' or the person who appreciated and shared things that were really significant to you. 'What times we had!' is likely to be your exclamation. Conversation late into the night - remembered with delight despite the physically exhaustion. Or perhaps you remember a play, a film, a holiday, an achievement, a meal, or whatever. Perhaps a time spent in hospital when a regular visitor brought gifts and hope to buoy you up. All of these remembrances were, perhaps, nothing spectacular in themselves, but they were special to you for one reason or another. We desperately need 'companionship,' to be able to 'break bread' with others.
Conversely, the worst times in our lives have probably been the ones when we felt alone, abandoned. Just like our Lord felt in the Garden of Gethsemane and during his passion. He knows what that feels like, even to the point of sweating blood. Deprivation of companionship is one of the worst possible punishments. That is exactly what solitary confinement is in prisons: the ultimate and worst form of punishment. Taking it one step further, the lack of companionship can even lead to insanity. Many infamous criminals have been 'loners,' people who kept to themselves and had a difficult time communicating with others. People become 'alienated' from others and become unable to relate effectively. Lack of relationship is a terrible and troubling state in which to be.
So why do we need to be in constant relationship to others? Because we are made in the image and likeness of a God who is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. No matter how little we may know about the Trinity, we can say without hesitation that the Three Persons exist in relationship to one another. God the Father loves God the Son with such a depth that God the Holy Spirit comes to be. That is hard to phrase accurately without implying that the Eternal God had a beginning, but I think you get the point.
Have you ever met a couple who are so much in love that you can almost reach out and hold it? Or friends whose loyalty and trust seems to touch for good everyone around them? Or parents or siblings whose concern for one another is so evident that it actually changes the circumstances of people around them? Such relationships are probably as close as we humans can ever get to knowing what the divine love really is.
Every striving of our souls for union, every reaching out for companionship, every urge for a hug or an embrace, every act of love gives indirect testimony to the Trinity. The Trinity says that God is community, and that we seek. The Trinity says that God is relationship and that we search for. The Trinity says that God is love and so we yearn for love. We can't help ourselves. We're made in that image and likeness. We mirror our origins.
So if someone asks you to explain the Trinity, you can respond without hesitation: 'The Trinity is the relationship of God the Father with God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. And because I have been created in the image and likeness of God, I can only exist in relationship with others. I am who I am because God is who God is.'